Posts Tagged ‘’


December 24, 2010

ENGLAND I HATE YOU (an ode to the team)

June 19, 2010

my web

KIM NOBLE ON “How to Practice Peace and understanding

October 14, 2009

I’ve been attending buddhist teachings on a wednesday night in my local library. We are told to be more accepting of everyone and everything. but on my way home…

man urinating beside car
…this man was taking a wee in the street, slyly opening his car door, opening his fly and then urinating.
I photographed him as he was shaking his penis. But I imagine it looked like this.

a male member. not to scale.
(This image has been mosaiced, so not to cause offence and is not to scale)

At first I was outraged.

But anger turned to acceptance, even love, as I returned home and remembered that 4 nights before, I was caught short myself in the middle of the night and only had a fresh orange juice bottle with a little left in, to hand.

a reminder to practice peace and love to all fellow man

I got home and looked at that partly filled bottle in a different light.
It now sits proudly on my bed side table as a reminder to accept people with different ways, habits and cultures.

Ironically it was in a SAINBURYS TASTE THE DIFFERENCE bottle.


September 12, 2009

indian shop

this is Anwara Tandoori. 

i pass it everyday

i wave to the man inside

he waves back

i’ve walked passed it most days, for 3 years now.

he never has customers

he works alone.

i occasional pop in and order a jal fraze

and a prawn puree.

we chat briefly about how slow business is.

i like him.

he is a genlte old man, but i cant help feeling how lonely he must be sat there every day waiting for orders that never come.

i once asked him to step outside to see the amusing roadworksign outside his take away

i thought it might cheer him up.


.road sign with a penis








but it didn’t.

Fuck Internet dating….find friendship closer to home.

September 7, 2009

 seeking  friendship and finding it can be a wonderful thing.

however i’ve been told that everything i love, i end up destroying….and i need to address that.

Reducing Obesity

September 6, 2009

trim flakes

having bought 20 packets of trimflakes from morrisons…i’ve now started to work on a new prototype toy, to be placed in the packets, as a promotional gift to increase the sales and then place them all back on the shelves….thus tackling obesity face on.

the new ‘toy’ i am thinking about is a mini Floella Benjamin in various positions and a mini Kim Noble
that can be linked together.

these will be available in a month. new toys available

public comments are most useful

August 29, 2009

poster defaced26082009225to the person whom defaced all my posters i’d like to say i am sorry. you were obviously saddened by my show. and that inturn saddens me.
i’d like to re-assure you that every effort is made to entertain you. and i failed. i am a failure.

Kim Noble is so so so sorry doctor

August 23, 2009

…Earlier this year my show was performed in London.
However the theatre received a letter of complaint, which is printed below, and I felt I should somehow atone for the misery caused. I’m just trying to help.

(the name and address, have been deleted)


Dear Soho Theatre,

I went to see Kim Noble will Die on the 14th April with 2 friends, and we were all very disappointed and surprised that the Soho Theatre would be irresponsible enough to profit from a man that is clearly mentally unwell and very unstable.

As a trainee psychiatrist, it is clear to me that Kim Noble needs an urgent psychiatrist assessment, rather than his twisted behaviour being held up as ‘art’ or ‘comedy’. Several parts of the show were disturbing and we left halfway through (when we were told to get out we didn’t have a pot of his semen), as did many other people. I am worried about Kim Noble’s own health and his suicidal ideation, particularly his threat to kill himself. You may claim that he did not mean this, but I would argue that this decision should be made by a psychiatrist, in a man with known bioplor disorder and several inpatient psychiatric admissions.

I am also concerned about the wellbeing of the public, including people in the audience who may struggle with self harm and were presented with graphic scenes of self mutilation. This may well have inspired vulnerable people to go home and repeat this. I particularly shocked that there was no warning about the extreme nature of this show beforehand.

I am also particularly worried about Kim putting his semen into Vagisil containers and then putting them back onto shelves in shops. As a medical doctor, I know that several potentially fatal diseases, such as hepatitis B and C, can be passed on this way.
Because of this, I called the police and they said they would investigate this.

My job is to spend all day helping people who are mentally unwell, so I therefore did not appreciate having to pay for the privilege of spending more time in the company of a disturbed individual.
This show wasn’t funny, it wasn’t art, and it was deeply disturbing and irresponsible.

I would therefore appreciate a refund for the 3 tickets bought, and an assurance that this man will be getting a psychiatric assessment and that you will not be staging further similar shows. I will also be writing to the local council about its decision to license this show.

Yours sincerely
Dr xxxxx xxxxxxxxx

It was only right that I should respond to him….my letter is printed below

Dear Dr xxxxx xxxxxxxxx

I am so so so sorry that you left halfway through my show…there was actually a good bit just after that, which you missed.
I can also assure you the theatre didn’t (and I quote) ‘profit from a man who is clearly mentally unwell’, I believe they just broke even, the cost of hiring a smoke machine was quite a heavy burden on the theatres finances.
As a good will gesture.. doctor I’ve booked 4 tickets to go and see Ben Hurr Live on the 19th September at the O2 Arena. I’ve enclosed 3 tickets for you and your friends, the fourth I will keep for myself and look forward to meeting you there, if I’m still alive. We will have a lovely time, and you can assess me during ( and I quote from the website )‘the epic chariot races brought to life’.

I think I’m falling in love with you doctor

Yours forever

Kim Noble.

I am yet to hear back from him. If you have any complaints about anything in Edinburgh this year then I suggest you come with me to see Ben Hurr Live. I’ve heard its quite good. I love you all.

encouragement and ethernet cables

August 19, 2009

production of seed for the edinburgh has been a little slow of late….but today i was most encouraged. To produce my next work i had to buy a Firewire cable, so i went to the shop and infront of me in the que was Stephen Fry. 

it gave me an enoumous sense of belief when he dropped his receipt on the floor.

Stephen Fry in Stanley productions buying an ether net cable

i raced home and produced 3 jars in under 4hours.

welcome to my blog. it might be shit but anyway

August 14, 2009

kim noble

We start here. i have a week to go before my latest edinburgh show. i am ginger. and i lost my latest girl friend last week.
its a poor start to a this page i admit. here is a preview.

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