Posts Tagged ‘kim noble will die’

PLAYING IT COOL (latest video by Kim Noble)

May 9, 2011

KIM NOBLE WILL DIE (the return of)

April 5, 2011

Back at SOHO THEATRE 11th-16th April.

(Warning contains: mother, the c-word, another ex-girlfriend and dog food)

Kim Noble ON: LIFE & (non) Butter

March 14, 2011

life is full of false promises but at the end of the day is a rather empty box left in a street in Peckham

Not having a Female Orgasm Where Harry Met Sally.

January 17, 2011

my new york show details here


my wibsit

KIM NOBLES WORLD CUP BID & other failures

December 2, 2010

my presentation to fifa

i can only take part responsiblity for englands failed world cup bid. I thought my power point demo wasn’t bad. I went on after Prince william. who was absolutely shitting himself in greenroom before.

i now fly straight from zurich to Bristol to deliver 2 other failed presentations @ inbetweentime  festival


Kim noble will die (4th Dec). details here
You are Not Alone. (5th Dec) (dont bother coming to this as it’ll be shit work in progress) details here

undeterred, i’m now working on the finishing touches to my peckham 2026 world cup logo. i’ll be concentrating on the fantastic bus network.

Kim Noble: The North and other places

October 4, 2010

The national & international tour of ‘KIM NOBLE WILL DIE’ continues slowly

This week i am going to Manchester, which is in the north of England.

image courtesy of Google Maps

I’m a bit nervous because i over heard some one the bus saying that the north is a toilet. (although he might have said that in the north there IS a toilet, or that he WENT to the toilet in the north)

I am pleased that its not too far to manchester, less than 2 inches from London.

8th October @ the greenrooms, Manchester ticket info here

For information on other future performances & new work, then if you click here it will help


KIM NOBLE ON: How To Quit Smoking

October 9, 2009

smoking kills

The Warning signs on cigarette packets are not working.
Cigarette sales are up 2.1% (maybe)
I’m smoking more than ever, even though the warnings say “SMOKING KILLS” or “A LONG PAINFUL DEATH”.

I phoned the government department responsible and spoke to Dave.
I suggested a change in tack.

Use warnings that smokers would feel less comfortable with;
Packets that smokers would not want to associate with. I.e no one wants to be a paedophiles. Do they. Do they? Cigarette sales would plummet 1.6% in the 1st month (maybe)

My suggestions :
cigarette packet 1


lucky strikes


Marlboro lights

KIM NOBLE ON: how cars helped save our planet yesterday

October 2, 2009

I didn’t know him.
But I got a pretty good idea he died yesterday on high holborn.

The incident happened only moments before the 171, I was on, passed him by.
I don’t think he feel from the sky.
So I assume he was hit by a vehicle, possibly a ford focus.

But the feeling I had was one of enormous joy;
He might have been a nob.
And that’s a scientific fact.
I made the calculation; out of everyone I’ve meet/known/or seen at least 60% fall into the bracket of ‘people who annoy me’
Therefore, the chances are, he was a fucken dick. A complete arsehole.
no one around seemed to give two hoots about him; the postman, the lady with a bike eating a snickers, the fella asking the police for directions to the council offices.
no one cared, apart from those being paid to do so, even the woman hovering over the body was asking if they could push it over to the gutter, because she was in a rush to drop the kids off at the pool (and by that i mean she wanted a shit).
I feel for his parents though.Having to bring him up.
They must be well chuffed.

High Holbern 6.16 Yesterday

High Holbern 6.16 Yesterday

Good I say.
More sacrifices please.
There are too many of us anyway.

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