Archive for the ‘planes, trains and automobiles’ Category

Fate brought me very close to these 2 ladies

January 8, 2013

…as we crossed the northern border


and then later…..


CAREFUL (and caring) DRIVING

May 3, 2012

On the open road this man pulled out, i swerved, then sounded my horn. He wound down his window, showed me the finger and said i was a 'fucken twat'. I agreed, (but i didn't agree with the signage on the car)


March 20, 2012


February 6, 2012

After being caught out over the last two years, during cold snaps & snowy conditions, local councils were quick this year in rolling out their new precautions against the big freeze. Gone are the days of train delays, airport closures, frozen roads and travel chaos…Yes its a slippery floor warning sign.

The Governments new Snow & Ice Precautions.







Happy to die

June 30, 2011

These guys always seem so contented to be killed in a horrific plane crash. i wish i was more like them.


June 25, 2011


June 2, 2011

student fees & library fines. Take action.

December 10, 2010

In light of the cunting government voting in favour of tuition fee rises & my library fine of £2.50 i found this car sticker very crass and inappropriate.

The car also had one of these ‘child on board sign’. Christ. I hate these people so much. i hope their naughty little shit gets run over today.

and to compound our nations woes, in the glove box was a Coldplay cd.

i had one of these

and some of this.

so i did this. serve the fucker a lesson. I’m anti tuition fee’s


Cuts and government cut backs (a short story)

November 12, 2010


2 month ago i sat waiting for my tube.

my eye was diverted to 3 pieces of rubbish.


being eco friendly i decided to select one bit of rubbish, to recycle or dispose of in the appropriate receptacle

the object in question was a slightly used plaster.

i pictured the initial user and the pain he or she might have suffered;


i felt i couldn’t throw it away.

so i took it home. This was more than just a discarded plaster.

This was a symbol of healing, a memento of pain, an object of hope in this dark time of cuts and cut backs.

i made  a little shrine for it and its user.




So imagine my delight when i cut myself in the kitchen chopping a potato some weeks after


and that very same plaster came in very handy.

(although I had to use a little pritt stick, it worked fine)


and now my cut has healed, i have no more use for that plaster, and want it to have a happy home

so i am offering it to anyone who needs it.

If you want it then send me your address and i’d be happy to send it on.

NOTES (from the country)

September 1, 2010


3.2% of sheep are black Caribbean, black african, black other or mixed

There are 31 sheep in this field.
1 of these sheep is black, the rest are white.
Remarkably this is the exact percentage given by National statistics Online of percentage of Mixed/Black african/ Black Caribbean /black other, living in the UK.
These statisitics are taken from a census of 2001 and ignores the lone sheep in the lower field whom i suppose is gay or some other minority group.



Carvans have the most ridiculous names.
These are Carvans, not superhero’s from a crap hollywood comedy film with Ben Stiller.
These are 6 sides of metal, that sit in fields in crap english campsites in the pooring rain. Inside a pissed loveless northern couple sit staying at a blank scrabble board, while there fucked up 7 year old daughter shits into the sink. And that is the high light of the fucken year. Then the carvan holds up every other tosser on the motorway home.

Real carvan names include:
Ace Pioneer
Clubman Lunar
Crystal Sprint
Swift Conqueror


THATS ALL… (for now…now go back to lives…its better out there, than in here)

my wabshit

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