Archive for the ‘depression’ Category

CRYING IN THE EYES OF GOD

September 8, 2011







GOD’S GONE TO IKEA

August 30, 2011

Fancy a change of career? Why not join the Police Force?

July 9, 2011

police have the 2nd highest rate of divorce of any profession.
and they are 3 times more likely to die in their own hands than in the cause of duty.
so i decided to comfort one of them…

i was then presented with the opportunity to
discover close up what it actually felt like to be one

i initially became a power-crazied w*****, and felt i should change my name to Keith…but these feelings subsided to just wanting to arrest someone from an ethnic minority and shoot a innocent brazilian. i now earn £35,979, have a drinking problem and find interaction with people outside of the force very difficult. i hated myself before..but i hate myself even more now. move along please..nothing to see here.

The Highlight of Ones Life

April 28, 2011

The birth of a child, your Wedding day, moving into your first house with a loved one,…treasured memories


So imagine my disdain when i realised the highlight of my life happened 18 years by the pool table in the Bull & Gate, in Kentish Town.
Chesney Hawkes (he sang I Am The One And Only in which topped the charts for 5 week in 1991) was standing holding a pint of Fosters.
I was stood about 2 metres away from him.
There was only 4 people in the Pub.

Then this happened…

Chesney dropped his pint and it looked as if he had pissed himself….
There…THATS BEEN THE HIGHLIGHT OF MY LIFE. (and i presume life will never again reach the joyous pleasure of that moment). CUNT.

NEW CURE FOR DEPRESSION: Dog Food

November 19, 2010

DO YOU FEEL DEPRESSED?

Well a new therapy is available for free.

Just spend a few minutes everyday in the dog food section of your local supermarket

.

With names like:  Winalot (yes you are victorious), Hero (thats you), Pal (you have many friends), cesar (a Roman Emporor to boot), how can you not feel more passionate about life.

however i feel we may be ignoring reality here…so i’ve decided to make my own dog food to bring us back to earth.

printing my own labels at home,

re-labeling some cans, and placing them back on the shelves, i bring you an all new dog food….

…LIFES A BITCH (because it is)

me web

By: TwitterButtons.com

KIM NOBLE on : DATING AGENCIES are Anti-Ginger.

November 4, 2010

finding that someone special is a service offered by the dating agency E-Harmony

I decided to complete the rigorous questionnaire in the vain attempt to become one of those smiling couples on the advert.

i was disheartened to recieve this email reply stating that there were no matches for me…

i called them to discuss my predicament

(LISTEN TO THE AUDIO TO HEAR THAT CALL)

thats all…if you want love & have ginger hair then don’t click here

By: TwitterButtons.com

I feel Sad, alone and depressed. (but at least i have this)

July 6, 2010

Today i have only cried once. A dramatic improvement on yesterday.

my websito


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